Tears of Betrayal
by obsessed
Summary: that's only pg-13 cause of some death...


diclaimer: The song "I will remember you" does NOT belong to me, it belongs to Sara McLachlan. Also, NONE of the characters in this story belong to me, and either do the places. They belong to J.K.Rowling. The situation and idea are mine, though. I'm not making any money so don't sue me!!

Arriving at Peter's house, I stopped to catch my breath. I darted to his front door and whispered the password into the keyhole. Our password was "animagus"; James and I had thought of it.

My voice was verified and the enchantments put on the house for Peter's protection were dropped. I pushed open the door and rushed inside to see him. I expected to find Peter waiting for me but--

The living room was deserted.

I hurried into the kitchen but it was empty. So were all the other rooms in the house. Peter Pettigrew was gone. My first thought was that he'd been captured. Voldemort must've found him somehow! I got halfway to the front door before realizing--everything in this house was exactly as it had been the day before. 

No struggle had taken place.

I must've left the door open when I rushed outside but who cared? I was nearly driving myself mad with worry. I dashed frantically to my waiting motorcycle, leaped onto it, and kicked off into the air.

James and Lily's house wasn't far away... Godric's Hollow was right up ahead... but where was Peter? Oh my god, what was going to happen...!

_I'm so tired _

_But I can't sleep _

_Standing on the edge _

_of something much too deep_

Then I saw it. My heart froze and dropped down to the pit of my stomach.

James' house was gone. Totally demolished. From up in the air I received a very clear view of the blackened rubble and fire that was my best friend since childhood's home. The home of my best friend's wife, Lily. And the home of their beautiful son, Harry.

Parts of it were ablaze in fire. My mind went blank. The motorcycle fell. The landing gave me a scraped knee and a deep gash on my shoulder. I didn't care. Didn't even notice.

All I could see, as I stumbled away from the motorcycle, was hell.

_Funny how I feel so much _

_But cannot say a word _

_We are screaming inside _

_Oh...but we can't be heard_

The only part of the house still standing was the doorframe. I walked through it, unable to take in all I was seeing. From beneath the pieces of fallen roof I heard the faint sound of a baby crying--but maybe it was only my imagination. 

I was certain then, that this would be the hardest thing I ever did. I was still walking, but I couldn't feel my legs. Suddenly I stopped. Reaching out I, ever so slowly, started to pick up bits of debri, sorting through it with a sort of grief that I'd never felt before in my life.

I found James. My best friend. Since as long as I could remember... he was dead. Lord Voldemort hadn't made a mess of it. James had no mark on him of any kind. He was simply... not there.

Lily was lying near him. She'd been next to her husband until the very end...

_I will remember you _

_Will you remember me? _

_Don't let your life pass you by _

_Weep not for the memories_

I hadn't even realized, until I saw Lily and James, that Peter Pettigrew--my friend--had betrayed us. Betrayed James. Double-crossed his friend's family to save his own skin. Peter Pettigrew, the spy. I looked down at James and I knew that I had done that. I should have realized it from the start, but I didn't, and now James and his wife were gone. I'd as good as killed them.

I yelled. No words, exactly. Just a steady sound. I yelled to let out my pain and I yelled as loud as I could. Still screaming in agony, I sank to the ground and brought my face to my knees. The yells became tears, the tears became long, hard sobs. Tears of sorrow. Tears of anger.

Tears of betrayal

_So afraid to love you _

_More afraid to lose _

_Clinging to a past _

_that doesn't let me choose_

I felt a large, square hand pat my back. I had stopped crying by then but I knew I was shaking like mad and my entire body was cold.

It was Hagrid. He was holding infant Harry and looking at me pitifully. I concentrated on Harry. Once my eyes came into focus I saw that the poor thing had a great red slash across his forehead in the shape of a lightning bolt. He was whimpering softly in Hagrid's arms. 

I knew my responsibility. The child was my duty now. I turned away from the bodies and stood up.

"Give him to me, Hagrid," I said shakily as the giant stood up beside me. "I'm his godfather--I'll take care of him."

Hagrid shook his head. "Sorry, Sirius. Little Harry'll be goin' to stay with his aunt and uncle. Dumbledore's orders."

_But once there was a darkness _

_A deep and endless night _

_Gave me everything you had _

_Oh...you gave me light_

Fear flooded over me. No one knew... Nobody except myself and James knew about Peter... James was gone, and would anybody believe my story? Where was Pettigrew? Even Dumbledore thought I'd been Secret-Keeper. They would think I betrayed my best friend. That I was the spy... My eyes widened in fright. I stood there for a moment, Hagrid patting my shoulder in comfort. Finally, I spoke.

"Then--take my bike," I pointed. "I won't need it anymore."

Hagrid nodded and took off with Harry.

Heading for the forest, I ran. Along the way, I changed into a dog. I was running away from my friend's murder... and running away from my life.

_I will remember you _

_Will you remember me? _

_Don't let your life pass you by _

_Weep not for the memories_

_Author's Note: This isn't quite what I expected it to be but what the heck. Hope you enjoyed it;no serious flaming please, criticize if you must._


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